Happiness!

So weak, so hollow.
Surrounded by people,
embraced by loneliness.
I walk with trembling feet,
towards a path not destined.

My hands are cold,
skin is pale.
Heart pumping to let me live.

My thoughts are unhinged,
and the brain is numb.
My arms empty,
with no meaning, no satisfaction,
happiness!

Fight or Flight?

One comes across many situations where she faces a dilemma of becoming the wonder woman and giving life a punch, or maybe simply forgetting about it (read; the most difficult task ever) and moving on. It could be as minor a situation as I do not want to change my work station. And the reasons she could give for it, well she’s a woman. You’d probably die by the time you finish listening to them.

It could be a date gone wrong, when all the guy does is talk about shit you do not want to hear. What does she do then? Can she tell him to shut up and enjoy the ‘purposely less ordered’ food or should she be a lady and politely listen with a smile on her face.

What should she do when a friend acts like a complete jerk? When she has tried everything to convince him, tried her level best to keep it going. Should she be mean and kick the fuck out of his balls or should she act like nothing has happened and greet him like a complete stranger every day.

A man loves her. She spends her time with him, almost every day. Sleep next to him, hug him. But doesn’t love him. Or maybe she doesn’t realize, perhaps she doesn’t want to. Is anything wrong with it; she doesn’t know. Should she just go with the flow or should she kill herself pondering over the thought again and again.

She is impulsive. She is fun. She is crazy. She is loud. She is mad. Her smile can kill. She is surrounded by men (read: friends). People, as they believe that they are the most creative story tellers, say that she is a slut. Should she hide in her cocoon only to never come out or should she spank those bastards and tell them talking ill about a woman is not going to make them tautological.

Fighting it out or flying away, the decision will always be hers to make. The opinions about her judgement, she can’t do anything about it. Because for her sky will always be grey. Looking up and asking for help is not her cup of tea. So, she decides and decides well to just move ahead. 

Pat on My Back

This morning I broke my dad’s favorite watch. It was a gift to him by my mom as a wedding gift. I got scared, you know how moms and dads go crazy when we break ‘antiques’. But to my surprise, my mom was excited and said, “Alas, he’ll buy a new one”. So, I got a pat on my back.

Being the only writer in our group I’m loaded with work having weird two hour deadlines. So when a cute little servicing chick came up to me with some silly changes I got really furious and gave out to her. I was shocked to see my boss standing behind me but not reacting. I thought I've lost my chances here. Just when I was about to lose all hope, my boss made that girl ran away. He hated her guts for some reason. Anyway, I got a pat on my back.

My friend believes I’m lazy when it comes to meeting her and taking out time for her out of my busy (read; very busy) schedule. She understands but always complain. This Saturday, when she about to have a nervous breakdown and was just about to go all mad at me, I gave her a surprise visit. She couldn't believe herself and almost fainted finding me at her place. I got a nervous breakdown filled faint pat on my back.

It was my nephew’s birthday. He is a sweet naughty child. I asked him what he would want as a gift and he cutely replied, I want to build myself a house with Lego’. Being a nice bua I got him his Lego boxes, by almost going nuts searching for them. I gave him his gift and tried to kiss him but couldn't because he was busy giving me a pat on my back!

We had gone for trekking a month ago. For a person who fears heights, it was quite a challenge. And there was an interesting combination up there. Some were too fast while climbing up and some were too slow. Me being a part on none, had to climb up the trail almost alone. So when we reached our destination, my friends gave me a pat on my back.

While everybody is busy giving me a pat on my back, I stopped for a while to think why am I proud of myself? Or am I proud of myself at all? I couldn't get an answer. Everything seems mixed up. You’ll get to know this why if you've read my previous post. But then I thought it’s been going pretty well for me. All my work is getting released. I haven’t lost anything in a while, except for an empty wallet. I haven’t fell on the road just like that and broken my legs. Yes, these are good enough reasons for me to be proud. So, yes I am proud of myself and by the time you finish reading, I would be giving myself a Pat on My Back!





[Written for WordPress Daily Prompts: 365 Writing Prompts. The prompt for today was – Pat on the Back - Tell someone you’re proud of just how proud you are.]

It’s All Mixed Up!

It was raining yesterday in Gurgaon. All of us were excited, you know watching it rain outside the window and then turning your head back towards your computer gives a sudden charge to your brain which forces you to leave your seat and go outside that instant! But to my surprise, it wasn’t all breezy and cool outside. It was humid! I had frost on my glasses; my forehead and nose were layered with moisture and not even a single strand of my hair (which I untied specially) was moving!

Everything is so mixed up! Rain, humidity, heat – everything! If someone would ask how you’re feeling, nobody would be able to give a clear answer. I am mixed up and my year up till now too!

It seems I have been on some mixed emotion spree for these seven months! It all began well though, joining a new job in the beginning of the year and then leaving it in not more than two months! Wasn’t my fault, people there were quite messed up! It was good that I left the job; I finally heard the cries of my rough cut movie videos and edited the film with my almost-not-similar-to-me partner. It brought us laurels too. We were the runners up of a renowned Film Festival and a special mention for another one. Well, we didn’t get selected for the third film festival! No, no, no hopes lost! But yeah, the third one was the special one!

I had to move on. So I joined another job. Thankfully, I met some awesome cool people here so it has been going great. I had also released a TVC, but my boss usually laughs at me. She says it’s a TVC about rice, quite useless! So, I accepted the reality and am quite living with it too.

The year has been quite nice for me in terms of birthdays and all. I have been on some quite nice trips with friends. One where we had to come back from the front gate of the Neemrana Fort and the other wherein I enjoyed but was quite annoyed with a lot of other things.

Rest everything has been going good so far. The thing that I’m happy about is that I’m able to blog these days. It’s mixed up here too. When I used to blog less often, people kept on asking me write more. Now that I’m writing more, no one except for some regular ones read it. I guess karma is playing hide and seek with me!

But nevertheless, I still hope all will go well by the time I reach September. It’s my favourite month. So are February and December! I just wish for winters to come. They always seem sorted to me. Dry, cold and sunny!

P.S. Happy Eid everyone!

[Written for WordPress Daily Prompts: 365 Writing Prompts. The prompt for today was – State of Your Year - Write up a mid-year “State of My Year” post.]

You, the Sandwich

My first thought would have been Sugar, Spice and everything nice but then I thought this can’t be it. A restaurant is naming a dish after me and I can’t just do away with these staple ingredients. So, I went about asking a few friends what they think I’m made of. And I got pretty decent answers. Pretty but weird.

Can you imagine me being a Raj Kachori? He said I've layers to me. Which is true. And then it makes sense because just by the way I’m plump. The other one made me quite happy as she said I’d be Mango Salsa. Because I’m quite different and I fill the space (read food as I’m a recipe) with life! The person that I am, I wasn't still satisfied with the answers so I went and asked the third one. He blasted me with options which I think are quite cool. Like he said I’d definitely have saffron in me. With all the pun he could add, he says I’m Posh! He also said I’d have mint. It’s refreshing and all.

Having my brain cells working too hard to filter the information given by these ‘sweet’ people I have in my life, I considered giving them and a break by re-briefing them so that they could think on their own. The outcome, well it isn't too different.

I believe I would definitely have mango as an ingredient. It’s sweet and sour at the same time. Those green little things, they describe me being sweet with a hint of satire that I can never throw away. I would love to add a little bit of cardamom to the dish, to give the taste of ethnicity. I am quite a chirpy person and as recommended already I’d add mint. It’ll give that well needed punch to the dish. Apple apparently would give a healthy touch. I like apple too, it’s my favorite fruit. Then I’d add some red wine. My life won’t be my life without all the insanity alcohol stirs in it. To give it a little crunch I’d add some crushed nachos and maybe roasted almonds. There would be a lot of lettuce, me being a vegan. I think I’d ask the restaurant to name it ‘The Crazy Crazoll’.

Wow! Sounds pretty nice to me. “The Crazy Crazoll’. All the madness, sourness, sweetness rolled into one crispy delightful and ambrosial dish! I would definitely make an awesome package!

And especially for all those who by now have their taste buds growling, I have an awesome recipe of myself! I mean, of my dish; ‘The Crazy Crazoll’.

Ingredients

1 Mango (peeled and mashed)
1 Red Pepper (Capsicum)
1 Yellow Pepper
1 Green Capsicum
Lettuce
Olives
Corn
Mint leaves (grind)
1 Apple (peeled and mashed)
Fresh Coriander
Nachos (Crushed)
Two teaspoons of Red Wine ( you can do without it too)
Tortilla Wraps (if you can make them at home, nothing like it!)
Salt to taste
Red Chilli Powder to taste
Coriander Powder to taste
Cardamom Powder
Oregano
2-3 table spoons Tomato ketchup
1 teaspoon Mustard Sauce

For the Filling

Saute the peppers, capsicum and all other vegetables in a pan. Pour the red wine carefully. Add dried spices and the mashed mango and apple. Mix it well and keep it aside. Now add, mint leaves, coriander leaves and the sauces.

Take a tortilla. Spread two lettuce leaves on it. Add the mixture in the middle, sprinkle crushed nachos and roll the tortilla covering it from all the sides. It’ll somewhat be in a rectangular shape.
Now heat oil in a pan. Deep fry the tortillas till they are light golden brown. They’ll appear nice and crisp. Serve them with some mayonnaise and enjoy ‘The Crazy Crazolls’! If you haven’t added the wine, serve these with the wine itself!

P.S. Do tell me if you try this.  

[Written for WordPress Daily Prompts: 365 Writing Prompts. The prompt for today was – You, the Sandwich - If a restaurant were to name something after you, what would it be? Describe it?]

Stranger in the Strange Land

While travelling, it’s only after I have breathed enough air that I feel I have reached a new place. It is different, the scent, for every city that you visit. There is a naive smell in the air which makes you feel a particular way about that place.

For those who have been to the hills, or maybe lived there for long, try to recollect that serene essence in the atmosphere. Didn't it make you want to settle there forever? I could have lived all my life amidst that mountain valley of Dharamshala with those amazing Fried Dumplings, or the famous Namgyal Pizza! Likewise, Mumbai had this moisture, that after rain-wanting to eat the mud-smell! And it is surrounded by the amazing aroma of Vada Pao, Cutting Chai and Challis! Haridwar has the smell of water with flowers, and a subtle hint of Aaloo Poori being made at that corner shop at the chowk. That Kheerganga trek. Oh I can still smell marijuana! Please ignore that it is a drug and let us all believe that it is some medicine taken to clear your schizophrenic head with all the people that you meet in your daily routine! (Smiles like a baby, pretending that I never wrote this.)

It’s only after a day that you start visiting the local attractions. They bring a different sense of belonging for a place. For some people beaches and hot chicks get them to groove, while some are happy praying to the lords. While some people were more bothered about the history and religious relativity that Elephanta Caves has for us, some were busy honeymooning in the presence of cute monkey families. It can be trying to capture that snow covered mountain or putting your feet in that rapid flowing river freaking you out as hell which makes you comfortable with the place you’re visiting. It becomes your space, your way of venting out the monotony and your only chance to get lost in the tranquil beauty of the surroundings.

Well, I have never interacted as much with the people of a place as I did in Dharamshala, while I was shooting for my film. Or when I was in Mumbai! For me, those monk kids playing football in the backyard of their monasteries, Epic Cuteness! And those sweet Challi vendors selling challis and smiling at you even when it’s raining cats and dogs, because they somehow see the hungry look on your face, priceless! It could also be that guy in that restaurant ordering for you a plate of chocolate mousse, well maybe because you are the prettiest girl around!

I think it can never be a single factor which makes you like a place. There is always something special, some incident which makes the craze for that place never fade away. There has to be a spot, a teeny tiny stupid thing that you did, or maybe some hot guy you met, that that place will stay in your memory for eternity!

P.S I hope it was pretty clear that food is an inevitable factor for you to like the place. It has to be like super amazing! 

[Written for WordPress Daily Prompts: 365 Writing Prompts. The prompt for today was – Stranger in the Strange Land - What's your favourite part about visiting a new place- The food? The architecture? The people watching?]

Your Life, The Book!

One’s life is…well it’s Life! Your journey towards eternity! It’s how you have lived with people and what all you have done, before you become a mere memory! Many people write their biographies; a long long essay of what their life has been all about. Whether it has been a smooth one or a roller coaster ride? Or maybe something else that only they themselves can describe well. It’s a story which they want the whole wide world to know about them. They weave their lives with words into a book.

Had my life been a book, it would have been a pretty nasty one. Considering the bi-polar (during that time of the month) crazy freak that I am, my autobiography would be like mixing mango’s sourness and a plum’s sweetness together. If you know what I mean!

I want to write my own biography, but C’mon someone else writing it for you is quite exciting as they interpret your life your way but with a subtle hint of their perception. So, I would have loved it if Shakespeare could write my biography for me!

Not just the fact that he’s the father of Literature; he is also a very romantic writer. He wrote Romeo and Juliet! Though I wouldn’t want him to kill me before becoming one with my beloved, I would go bonkers if he wrote for me. My Oh-So-Charming would become a little more handsome and I would be the woman with beauty and there would be a subtle hint of poetic awesomeness in air wherein our love would be like renaissance for all the romantic people out there.

Mine love would be like the unicorn, pure and my lover shall say to myself, “Thou art mine” and I shall embrace him with all the affection that I have. Just imagine if these lines would have been a part of my biography! Awesome it would have been, isn’t it?

Well, Shakespeare can’t come alive, not anytime anon. Not to write my biography at least. I had to come up with a name. I had to find my person. So, I thought my best friend could be a good choice to leave with the responsibility to write my biography! He’s a nice person. Just a little annoying, like all the best friends usually are but really cool. He’s been with me in almost all the crazy mad things that I have done, or at least he gets to know the whole story, uncensored. He’s not a writer though. Initially I thought it would be difficult for him to elaborate through words, but then he can always draw! In fact, he will only draw! My book will become an art version of my life! Detailed illustrations of how I fall on the road while walking, even if it’s completely dry or how I manage to be completely contradictive to the points I was fighting over after every five sentences I say in an argument. I believe it might become a little too embarrassing for me, but it will make everyone laugh so I think I can settle there. I shall leave in my will for him to illustrate my biography. He won’t otherwise. Artists are pretty lazy.

Uh, if someone wants to volunteer themselves, they can. What about you Sakshi and Sid? Will you guys write it for me? I wouldn’t mind some humor and satire in there too. I do am mean at times!

For me, I am just wondering will it be possible to write after I die. Like I wish for some ‘The Times of Heaven’ or some ‘The Hell Times’ to be up there. Well, advertising will be too much to ask for!



[Written for WordPress Daily Prompts : 365 Writing Prompts. The prompt for today was – Your Life, The Book - From a famous writer or celebrity, to a WordPress.com blogger or someone close to you — who would you like to be your biographer?]