Fight or Flight?

One comes across many situations where she faces a dilemma of becoming the wonder woman and giving life a punch, or maybe simply forgetting about it (read; the most difficult task ever) and moving on. It could be as minor a situation as I do not want to change my work station. And the reasons she could give for it, well she’s a woman. You’d probably die by the time you finish listening to them.

It could be a date gone wrong, when all the guy does is talk about shit you do not want to hear. What does she do then? Can she tell him to shut up and enjoy the ‘purposely less ordered’ food or should she be a lady and politely listen with a smile on her face.

What should she do when a friend acts like a complete jerk? When she has tried everything to convince him, tried her level best to keep it going. Should she be mean and kick the fuck out of his balls or should she act like nothing has happened and greet him like a complete stranger every day.

A man loves her. She spends her time with him, almost every day. Sleep next to him, hug him. But doesn’t love him. Or maybe she doesn’t realize, perhaps she doesn’t want to. Is anything wrong with it; she doesn’t know. Should she just go with the flow or should she kill herself pondering over the thought again and again.

She is impulsive. She is fun. She is crazy. She is loud. She is mad. Her smile can kill. She is surrounded by men (read: friends). People, as they believe that they are the most creative story tellers, say that she is a slut. Should she hide in her cocoon only to never come out or should she spank those bastards and tell them talking ill about a woman is not going to make them tautological.

Fighting it out or flying away, the decision will always be hers to make. The opinions about her judgement, she can’t do anything about it. Because for her sky will always be grey. Looking up and asking for help is not her cup of tea. So, she decides and decides well to just move ahead. 

Pat on My Back

This morning I broke my dad’s favorite watch. It was a gift to him by my mom as a wedding gift. I got scared, you know how moms and dads go crazy when we break ‘antiques’. But to my surprise, my mom was excited and said, “Alas, he’ll buy a new one”. So, I got a pat on my back.

Being the only writer in our group I’m loaded with work having weird two hour deadlines. So when a cute little servicing chick came up to me with some silly changes I got really furious and gave out to her. I was shocked to see my boss standing behind me but not reacting. I thought I've lost my chances here. Just when I was about to lose all hope, my boss made that girl ran away. He hated her guts for some reason. Anyway, I got a pat on my back.

My friend believes I’m lazy when it comes to meeting her and taking out time for her out of my busy (read; very busy) schedule. She understands but always complain. This Saturday, when she about to have a nervous breakdown and was just about to go all mad at me, I gave her a surprise visit. She couldn't believe herself and almost fainted finding me at her place. I got a nervous breakdown filled faint pat on my back.

It was my nephew’s birthday. He is a sweet naughty child. I asked him what he would want as a gift and he cutely replied, I want to build myself a house with Lego’. Being a nice bua I got him his Lego boxes, by almost going nuts searching for them. I gave him his gift and tried to kiss him but couldn't because he was busy giving me a pat on my back!

We had gone for trekking a month ago. For a person who fears heights, it was quite a challenge. And there was an interesting combination up there. Some were too fast while climbing up and some were too slow. Me being a part on none, had to climb up the trail almost alone. So when we reached our destination, my friends gave me a pat on my back.

While everybody is busy giving me a pat on my back, I stopped for a while to think why am I proud of myself? Or am I proud of myself at all? I couldn't get an answer. Everything seems mixed up. You’ll get to know this why if you've read my previous post. But then I thought it’s been going pretty well for me. All my work is getting released. I haven’t lost anything in a while, except for an empty wallet. I haven’t fell on the road just like that and broken my legs. Yes, these are good enough reasons for me to be proud. So, yes I am proud of myself and by the time you finish reading, I would be giving myself a Pat on My Back!





[Written for WordPress Daily Prompts: 365 Writing Prompts. The prompt for today was – Pat on the Back - Tell someone you’re proud of just how proud you are.]

You, the Sandwich

My first thought would have been Sugar, Spice and everything nice but then I thought this can’t be it. A restaurant is naming a dish after me and I can’t just do away with these staple ingredients. So, I went about asking a few friends what they think I’m made of. And I got pretty decent answers. Pretty but weird.

Can you imagine me being a Raj Kachori? He said I've layers to me. Which is true. And then it makes sense because just by the way I’m plump. The other one made me quite happy as she said I’d be Mango Salsa. Because I’m quite different and I fill the space (read food as I’m a recipe) with life! The person that I am, I wasn't still satisfied with the answers so I went and asked the third one. He blasted me with options which I think are quite cool. Like he said I’d definitely have saffron in me. With all the pun he could add, he says I’m Posh! He also said I’d have mint. It’s refreshing and all.

Having my brain cells working too hard to filter the information given by these ‘sweet’ people I have in my life, I considered giving them and a break by re-briefing them so that they could think on their own. The outcome, well it isn't too different.

I believe I would definitely have mango as an ingredient. It’s sweet and sour at the same time. Those green little things, they describe me being sweet with a hint of satire that I can never throw away. I would love to add a little bit of cardamom to the dish, to give the taste of ethnicity. I am quite a chirpy person and as recommended already I’d add mint. It’ll give that well needed punch to the dish. Apple apparently would give a healthy touch. I like apple too, it’s my favorite fruit. Then I’d add some red wine. My life won’t be my life without all the insanity alcohol stirs in it. To give it a little crunch I’d add some crushed nachos and maybe roasted almonds. There would be a lot of lettuce, me being a vegan. I think I’d ask the restaurant to name it ‘The Crazy Crazoll’.

Wow! Sounds pretty nice to me. “The Crazy Crazoll’. All the madness, sourness, sweetness rolled into one crispy delightful and ambrosial dish! I would definitely make an awesome package!

And especially for all those who by now have their taste buds growling, I have an awesome recipe of myself! I mean, of my dish; ‘The Crazy Crazoll’.

Ingredients

1 Mango (peeled and mashed)
1 Red Pepper (Capsicum)
1 Yellow Pepper
1 Green Capsicum
Lettuce
Olives
Corn
Mint leaves (grind)
1 Apple (peeled and mashed)
Fresh Coriander
Nachos (Crushed)
Two teaspoons of Red Wine ( you can do without it too)
Tortilla Wraps (if you can make them at home, nothing like it!)
Salt to taste
Red Chilli Powder to taste
Coriander Powder to taste
Cardamom Powder
Oregano
2-3 table spoons Tomato ketchup
1 teaspoon Mustard Sauce

For the Filling

Saute the peppers, capsicum and all other vegetables in a pan. Pour the red wine carefully. Add dried spices and the mashed mango and apple. Mix it well and keep it aside. Now add, mint leaves, coriander leaves and the sauces.

Take a tortilla. Spread two lettuce leaves on it. Add the mixture in the middle, sprinkle crushed nachos and roll the tortilla covering it from all the sides. It’ll somewhat be in a rectangular shape.
Now heat oil in a pan. Deep fry the tortillas till they are light golden brown. They’ll appear nice and crisp. Serve them with some mayonnaise and enjoy ‘The Crazy Crazolls’! If you haven’t added the wine, serve these with the wine itself!

P.S. Do tell me if you try this.  

[Written for WordPress Daily Prompts: 365 Writing Prompts. The prompt for today was – You, the Sandwich - If a restaurant were to name something after you, what would it be? Describe it?]

Texty Text

We think. We speak.
We wish to talk. We say.
We call. We chat.
Seldom do we think about writing.
Writing our thoughts to the person whom we want to speak with.

But ever since these ‘text messages’ came into being our world of talking turned itself upside down. A text message with its chutzpah brought a new culture into the lives of us humans. With it came a very endearing version of English (read: highly abbreviated and loved by people because we are always running short of time). So, ‘okay’ became ‘k, ‘just like that’ became ‘JLT’ and our exclamatory ‘Oh My God’ became a very exclamatory OMG! Grammar lost its way and spellings went on a holiday with punctuations. And eventually the troll; R.I.P English was born.

Nevertheless, people didn’t stop talking. I at least never did. Just like the conversations, text messages are long and never ending so much so that my thumb and fingers start hurting at times. Just because the other person can’t hear my voice and guess my feelings it gives me a condescending adrenalin rush to write as much as I can to explain how I am saying what I am saying.

Those who know me know that I love to talk all day, all night without sparing a moment. So automatically my text messages go way beyond the limit. I see no harm in writing long messages or even longer messages. And as much I as I love expressing myself, I also love you guys (the ones who are reading my blog). So to spare you the horror of listening to me; rather reading me say all of it in a much longer detail; let me show you an instance. In the message below, I was sad and that was what I wanted to say. Instead, I wrote my friend some 193 words! Happy reading!

“I want to indulge in APODYOPSIS! Don't go looking for the shit, it means mentally undressing someone! No reason. 

I have clearly gone mental at 3 in the night! Actually, I feel the devil has won over me and I want to fight a few people, take them out so to speak! It's the feeling that you get when you are not able to have an orgasm!

Life is a race, like a broken anda! Was this the dialogue?

Change your DP! Every time I see it I feel like punching your face so that the nimbu paani will come out! You should never mess with a girl high on hormonal medication.

I don't know what I am saying. I haven’t even read it after writing. This is one of my usual random things. Let's go shopping the week. I have nothing to wear.

And I want to have a dog!

I want to go live in Goa, or maybe Kerala, or maybe a house of my own. I'm tired of explaining things. Don't kill me haan tomorrow. Let’s go out and have gol gappas. I really want to. I just feel sad.”

P.S No judging.