Texty Text

We think. We speak.
We wish to talk. We say.
We call. We chat.
Seldom do we think about writing.
Writing our thoughts to the person whom we want to speak with.

But ever since these ‘text messages’ came into being our world of talking turned itself upside down. A text message with its chutzpah brought a new culture into the lives of us humans. With it came a very endearing version of English (read: highly abbreviated and loved by people because we are always running short of time). So, ‘okay’ became ‘k, ‘just like that’ became ‘JLT’ and our exclamatory ‘Oh My God’ became a very exclamatory OMG! Grammar lost its way and spellings went on a holiday with punctuations. And eventually the troll; R.I.P English was born.

Nevertheless, people didn’t stop talking. I at least never did. Just like the conversations, text messages are long and never ending so much so that my thumb and fingers start hurting at times. Just because the other person can’t hear my voice and guess my feelings it gives me a condescending adrenalin rush to write as much as I can to explain how I am saying what I am saying.

Those who know me know that I love to talk all day, all night without sparing a moment. So automatically my text messages go way beyond the limit. I see no harm in writing long messages or even longer messages. And as much I as I love expressing myself, I also love you guys (the ones who are reading my blog). So to spare you the horror of listening to me; rather reading me say all of it in a much longer detail; let me show you an instance. In the message below, I was sad and that was what I wanted to say. Instead, I wrote my friend some 193 words! Happy reading!

“I want to indulge in APODYOPSIS! Don't go looking for the shit, it means mentally undressing someone! No reason. 

I have clearly gone mental at 3 in the night! Actually, I feel the devil has won over me and I want to fight a few people, take them out so to speak! It's the feeling that you get when you are not able to have an orgasm!

Life is a race, like a broken anda! Was this the dialogue?

Change your DP! Every time I see it I feel like punching your face so that the nimbu paani will come out! You should never mess with a girl high on hormonal medication.

I don't know what I am saying. I haven’t even read it after writing. This is one of my usual random things. Let's go shopping the week. I have nothing to wear.

And I want to have a dog!

I want to go live in Goa, or maybe Kerala, or maybe a house of my own. I'm tired of explaining things. Don't kill me haan tomorrow. Let’s go out and have gol gappas. I really want to. I just feel sad.”

P.S No judging.